The big dream

So, confession, I have a dream. I have this dream to start an organization that is basically a disciplship program for girls.I want to get going on it so bad. I have so many dreams and ideas and goals, I just don't know where to start. I really would love support, advise, prayer... anything really. Sometimes I think I am crazy, but then I remember that God has gotten people to do things that are far out there compared to this so I know I can do it (with His help) and so I will. It will be a challange and it will be tough but it will be done.

Ashley Marie

So break time

This is my break time. I miss school. I am having fun haing out with my Mom too though...

Ashley Marie

dreams

Have you ever had a dream and then given up on it because your feared someone thinking it was dumb, or worse yet because someone told you it was dumb? What would our world look like if we actually lived out our dreams? If we stood up and fought those things that said we couldn't achieve our dreams. I think the world would be a completely new place. It would be haappier and more importantly it would be full of love. Let's do it. Grab a dream and go get it done! I am right behind you.

Ashley Marie

HEY

People, You should send me an email or a letter or something!

Ashley Marie

One more night

Well tonight is my last night in my own bed before I move to College. I am excited but I am also bit unsure and nerveous but I think that is totally normal and fine so it doesn't worrry me at all. I got myself a Macbook and so more ductape so now I am ready to conqure Bethany. Melissa left for Alberta today and that was a bit hard but I am so happy for her, so proud of her. I feel like I have lots I wanna say but for right now I feel like I can't say anything profound or pointful so what is the use? Well I better carry on packing and etc


Ashley Marie

One Voice

Wanna be your hands
Jesus walks
Wanna be your feet
Jesus walks
I'll go where you send me
I'll go where you send me

We're gonna raise our voice as one
Gonna get on my hands and knees
Gonna wash my brothers and sisters feet

I'm gonna be a history maker in this land
I'm gonna be a speaker of truth to all mankind


A part of a great song from camp Kadesh

Ashley Marie

pro staring

Hey gang! I am having a great time prostaring at Kadesh this week. I've got a bunch of things I am getting so passionate about for the fall. So yeah life is good, I leyto go right now but keep in touch.

Ashley Marie

great week

hey guys, how is everyone doing? drop me a line or something. I live in a bubble now and I have no idea what is going on out there in the "real" world. So this last week was awesome. I had the best campers ever and we all had a blast. Plus we had a great speaker (Corwin) who totally challanged me to do something that i have felt called to do for a long time now. I have no reason not to do what i am called to do so now i will go out and do it.

I will fear no evil for my God is with me and if my God is with me whom than shall I fear? whom than shall I fear?

Ashley Marie

News

Ok so it's been a while. We found Mistee, which is great and she very happy to be home safe and sound. I am at Kadesh already. We just finished our first week and today is the start of our second week. I am having a really great time here. Shout out to Kirsten and Kelsey. If you guys wanna make my day mail me something out here @ Camp Kadesh Box 56 Christopher Lake Sask S0J 0N0. I don't think I am supposed to be on here long so I will sign off but remember kids God made you special and he loves you very much.

Ashley Marie

mixed emotions

Well I am off to camp soon, as in tomorrow. I am excited about that. Then after all my time at camp is done I am off to Bethany. It seems so fast. Actually it seems unreal. Like this isn't happening. It is crazy. I am gonna miss home and the people here but I am gonna love it while I am gone too so I got some mixed emotions going on.
Also, my dog is gone. Yeah, she took off like a shot when did fireworks a couple of nights ago. She is normally in the house when we do em but my Mom was holding on to her outside but she was so teriffied that she took off and we haven't seen her since then, we are all sad about that. We were out looking for her til 2AM on Saturday and then again in the morning and then again in the evening, we even handed out fliers, still no sign. This is very unlike my dear Mistee. So if you see her, please give me a call.

Ashley Marie

Moving on...

Life is so odd. It has so many stages and even if you are excited for the next one everyone who has been where your going always says to stay where you are. I don't think that is right. Every stage has good points and bad, but I don't think we should try to stay in one stage if we need to be moving on. Besides what did Jesus say to do? "Go, make disciples baptising them...." we need to move on. Carry along. There is always more to see more people to meet, new sights, tastes sounds. Moving on is hard, it requires a certain amount of trust. Trust in you, trust in the world and trust mostly in God. But he has promised, "I am with you always, even til the end of the age." So why not go?

Ashley Marie

dress pics

Here are some long awaited dress pics. None really of the dress though.... ah well

Ashley Marie

GRADUATION

I AM DONE!
I got a bamboo plant for grad, his name is Rutherford, Rutty for short. That is all for now

Ashley Marie

PS dress pictures to come

grade 12 pic

Ashley Marie

PS not my grad photo

wild cat anyone?

So today my Mother and I found some kittens, four to be exact. The problem, their mother is wild and we don't want any more wild cats around. My mother and I had a thought process that was something like this: we don't want wild cats, we want tame ones so we should capture them and earn their trust. Well, the mother cat ran away and the four kitties who cann open their eyes did not. So now we have four kittens in a little home but no mother. We are currently waiting for her to come and "rescue" them and at that time we hope to catch her as well and then have a big happy, tame cat family.

Ashley Marie

Almost there

I am almost done my last year of high school, my first "real" job at Tim Hortons, graduation preparations. I am almost ready for Camp Kadesh this summer, and Bethany College this fall. I couldn't be more excited.

Ashley Marie

Y outh C onference

This last weekend Ryan and Amber gave me a ticket for YC for my grad gift. It was fun! I got to see David Crowder Band* live and that was like awesome, a dream come true. We also went to the West Edmonton Mall, and did the bumper boats. That was so fun. You can scoot around in this round boat and squirt people with water, you get wet but it is a bunch of fun. I got a YC zip up sweater and it is grand. Well that is all I have to say for now. Maybe later I will add some snap shots. Check it out later

Ashley Marie

Hard

It is hard to watch someone you care about fall away. Fall away from you from God, from who they are. It is hard to see someone you care about make messes in their life that they have to clean up, without help. It is hard to see them make mistakes and hurt themselves and know, that if they don't figure it out on their own then they will never truly get it and therefore keep doing it over and over again. It is hard to see the pain in their life, in their actions and in their deeds and know that there is not a thing you can do but stick it out with them. It is hard not to turn and run the other way because you know that they will do everything in their power to hurt you because you have done nothing but loved them. Why do they do that? Because they have turned into someone they aren't and hate what they do what they say and who they are turning into, so to have someone still love them is like burning coals on their head. It is like a conviction. Convictions are hard. Hard to give, hard to receive, hard to watch, hard to pray for. What are we supposed to do with this kind of hard stuff? Love. Love must be unconditional or it is a manipulation. Unconditional love is the only kind of love that affirms a human being enabling that person to grow. 1Corinthians 13:1-8 talks on love. Sometimes even love is hard...


Ashley Marie

Youth Pastor

This is my youth pastor, Lee. He is a great guy, truly God's gift to our church. He has a vision and passion for our youth group that I've never seen before at least not this up close and to see that has been a huge blessing. If you think of it pray for him as people in full time ministry need more prayer than any of us "other people" could fathom.
Why does he have this beard? To raise money for T.F. A youth trip. That is a great youth pastor quaility, to be willing to give up things like apperance to gain something for the group of kids he has been called to minister to. Thank Jesus for your plan for our church and youth.


Ashley Marie

short or long?

(I was really hungry here.... always remember to feed your Ashley)

Long or short hair better? I know, bad pics, but work with it. Really, I wanna know what you folks think. Make a comment. I dare you.

Ashley Marie

I love you both

(Break Forth, on a bus)

(New Years @ home)
(Christmas @ Grandma W.'s)

(Christmas @ Grandma F.'s)

This is my older brother, Ryan, he is simply the best. Along with his great and wonderful girlfriend, Amber. They are both near and dear to me and I love and cherish them deeply. Love you guys!!

Ashley Marie

Hunting

I am trying to shoot this bird. It is a crazy bird. It is a stupid bird. It is an annoying bird. Hence I want to shoot it. I think I've actually hit it, but I also think it has hard feathers like a magpie and so I don't think it will die or anything, just have a bruse. (I'm using an old school pellet gun) So yeah, it makes this stupid crazy noise, so I wanna shoot it, then I want to look at it up close, it looks very interesting. It is like a cross with a turkey and a peacock.

Ashley Marie

Molly

I once, along with my best friend Melissa, saw a dog on the side of the road. She looked lost, and very cute. Naturally, I stopped and no sooner had I opened the door than she hopped up on my lap and off we were. It wasn't long til my brain asked the question "what am I going to do with this dog?". Then we named her, Molly. She was cute and perfect (with some flaws... but she was still cute). She liked me best so I wanted to keep her. But she had a very nasty shedding issue. So, my parents made me give her to the SPCA. Sadly, when I called to see if she had been adopted they told me she was ..... put down, due to temperament issues. I didn't think she had any. Well, she was my very own puppy, even if it was only for three weeks. I won't ever forget my Molly.

Ashley Marie

tongue wound

This my tongue wound. I had some type of zit or something on the underside of my tougue, I cut it off. I put some numbing stuff on it first cuz I was really chicken but it wasn't that bad after that. It was really irritating me. I hope you can see it (it's hard to take a picture of your own tongue.) It is located on the left side of the picture (my right). That is all for now.

Ashley Marie

worship led by -JeDidiAh-

So today we, -JeDidiAh- led worship. I had so much fun. Worship through music is such a wonderful gift from God. We did some really powerfilled songs ( let us adore, sing hallelujah ect.) It was so wonderful. We also did a dramatic verse quoting that I think added a great deal to it. Afer that we ate lunch with some of the family. Then Ryan, Amber and I went to costco and came back to my place. I am now board.

-JeDidiAh-
L~R + F~B: Ashley, Ryan, Amber Kirsten, Steven, Leesa, Jorden(no longer plays with us), John, Kelsey, Eric.


Ashley Marie

Choices

Days are filled with choices, hard ones easy ones, inbetween ones. That is what our world is about. To steal the idea from "You've got mail" (a great movie), even with something as small as a cup of coffee you can make a lot of choices. What size? Cream? Sugar? Black? To go? To have in? There are just so many options. Like when someone says something really mean to you. What to do? There is a verse for that. Read Luke 6:28-29. Jesus says simply, love. That's it, love. So what do we do when we face choices? Do what He did and love. If it isn't loving to do what you are doing than don't do it, one should always choose to love. This is a hard one to do, maybe one that we must all really work at until our last breah on our last day but it is worth it. For what we do today may seem small and maybe a come back to a harsh word seems easy and fitting for today but it is in eternity that the choice of love will pay off. Oh, God let us be a generation that seeks Your face.

Ashley Marie

Westmount Evangelical Church... after the fire

This is my church, after someone tourched it. This very sad tragity occured 4.5 years ago. You'd think by now we'd have a brand new place with a paved parking lot and comercial sized dishwasher. No. We have nothing. Though we are looking into yet another possible purches we are still far away from having a perminent church. It is hard. I feel like we are God's people out in the dessert for fourty years. The good part, after the fourty years God blessed His people with a land flowing with milk and honey, the promised land. He will take care of us. Just for now this is what we have to look back on and wish we could take back all our complaints we had about this dear, old building.

Ashley Marie

phone calls

I once knew what it was like to have someone call you everyday, without exception. I know down to the minute when my phone would ring and who it would be. Adjusting out of that has been hard. I still have Jesus though, I know I always will but one still gets used to life lived a certain way. It was easy to get used to the phone calls I once got. They gave me a sence of belonging more so than others things have. I know that I belong in the family of God and in Him am I to find my value and so that will never change. But still, I am human flesh. How do I now go back to the way my life was before the phone calls? Before the calls I never knew that there could be calls, I never knew that someone calling me everyday just becuase they cared that much about that much. It is hard to lose that, even though it seems so... trivial

Ashley Marie

a tribute

My Mom, Melissa and me. My Mom, is my hero. If I could be anyone else on earth I'd be her. She is amazing and I want to be just like her when I grow up. Melissa, has the most beautiful heart ever and is gorgeous inside and out. I love both of them to death. I never want to live my life without both of them by my side.

Ashley Marie

sore bum.... but it's worth it

Today my bum is soar. I have been sitting all day! Reading for my psy. class mostly. I've been having a hard time focusing in the last half hour cause my bum has been throbing. I guess I could try sitting more properly... I was sitting on my couch with the middle cusin removed so my head and feet were elevated leaving my bum on the unpadded springs. I did get a lot done though. Even still it was worth it soar butt and all. I'm really enjoying this distance learning class. It's been fun to see that I can actually get good grades on a college level! Currently my average is sitting at 92%. Not too shaby I say. I can't wait to put what I've been learning into use. Like in youth min. Oh man, am I ever excited and blessed to have become a part of the leadership in my youth group. So excited. All this and I still have to graduate high school. That'll happen on June 15, 2007 at 7:30PM. That is a day I have been awaiting all my life. So glad it is so near, yet so far away. It will come though, I trust it will. My dress is a dark chocolate brown and I have a butterfly theme going on. It should be great. Anyway. Thought for the day "you have nothing to fear, you are deeply and truly loved."

Ashley Marie

youth....

I discovered a while ago (like 5 years) that I love youth. Not the going to youth aspect, though I do still enjoy that. I love getting to know kids, and lovin' on 'em like Jesus and seeing the "left out" ones and bringing them back into the group and helping them find their groove, who they are. This is what I want to do with my life. I want to be involved in youth ministry. I want to help them realize that they are valuable and loved beyond messsure, no matter what their peers or even parents say. I want kids to be able to live the life Jesus wants them to live. I love watching as youth turn into young adults. What is the difference? People who can believe in themselfs and also in the God who made them... and there are so many differeneces. This week my youth pastor has given me a chance to take another step into this ministry by allowing me to be a Jr youth leader. I will do all I can, I cannot promise not to screw up but I will make those mishaps just more opportunity to learn how to live better and love better. I am excited.

P.S I dunno why I put a picture of my dog and I for the "youth" bit... strange. But anywho this is Mistee. I love her.

Ashley Marie

Timmy's girls

I work at Tim Hortons. Amber (left) still works there with me and so does Melissa (right of me) but Leesa (far right) no longer does, but at one point we all worked there at the same time.

Ashley Marie

Praying for my technoligy

So today is Monday again, yes! I love Mondays. On Saturday I dropped my cammera in a little bit of water and am really upset about that. I am leaving out sitting open for three days (til tuesday) and praying that it will be fine. I dunno if God is really all that concerned with my camera but He says "cast all your anxiety on Him" so that is what I am doing. Next saturday I am probably gonna go to this sound info thing at the Living Hope Church. I might learn something. I hope so. So yeah, that is all for now I guess...
PS try to go out of your way to do something great for someone else today, and everyday you breathe. This will be worship... as long as done as unto HIM.

Ashley Marie

Encouraged

So yeah I forgot to mention this bit of greatness earlier. Today there was a guy who got baptised in my church. He said his testimony and it really encouraged me because he talked about how the conteparary worship in our church was huge into bringing him back to God. That means music like what -JeDidiAh- plays helped this man find his way back to God. This was the encouragment I needed to recover from that little episode with the old couple I have mentioned perviously. God is good, all the time. All the time, God is good. He sure knows when to send a message and just how to do it. I nearly cried. I had the tears but they never left the safty of my eyes so that doesn't count as crying but nearly. So that is my encouraged. So remeber kids, God made you special and He loves you very much.


Ashley Marie

Thy Will Be Done

Well today was good, great actually. I went to church and I really put myself into the worship. Not that everything was done the way I would have done it or to my exact taste or that I knew or liked all the songs, like I said I put myself, my heart into it. That is how to experience real worship. Not saying I am perfect at it or anything but I am working on it. When you can make yourself get past that you dislike about the music and get real about the worship it can be truly amazing.
Today I've also been thinking a great deal about -JeDidiAh- as far as should I stay or should I go? I mean I love it, like absolutely LOVE it. Every part of it. But I don't know if God wants me to give that up for my first year at Bethany. I mean not to say I think He doesn't approve of it, just maybe that.... He can see a part of the picture I might miss out on if I don't totally dedicate this next year to the full Bethany experience. I pray "thy will be done". It is still hard not knowing though. I know I would miss it a great deal but I don't know what I will be missing if I do stay. For now all I really can do is pray... "Thy will be done".

Ashley Marie

Computer Issues

Today I was having computer issues, again! I hate it when I have computer issues. I mean it would be one thing to have computer issues and know exactly how to solve them but for me that is not the case and so I get very frusterated and annoied. So I think I should end this entry before I get too carried away. Maybe I will come back later and and have something more ... insightfull to say.

Ashley Marie

ME!

So this me in case you were wondering.

Ashley Marie

silence speaks volumes

So a lot of people say that actions speaks louder that words, often times I would agree that, that is true. Silence however breaks all volume barriers, I think. For instance, I mentioned earlier that I lead a worship team and it is my pride and joy. There is one thing that makes it hard. My church is very reserved, not by religion just by nature. We are mennonites, it just happends that way. Older folks tend to be more so than my generation and my parents generation. You see they think that worship is only worship if it is a piano and a song leader. So when there is a full band, like -JeDidiAh- they don't sing. They have never and probably will never say a thing about it to my face, but thier silence speaks volumes more than any conversation would. This crushes me. Absolutely crushes me. People tell me "Ash, shrug 'em off. You are doing what you are called to do. Don't allow them to destroy that, don't give them that power. " That is hard. Their silence is so loud when we lead worship sometimes I can't even hear the music. The thing is, music is not nessisarily worship and worship is not necissarily music. It is where you heart is. You can be tapping your toes along with the beat a raising your hands and not be worshiping. It isn't about what you do on the outside. Not to say that EVERYONE needs to sing a participate in worship in that way. But there is a differnce between worshipping in your own way and not participating to make a statement. Like the casting crowns songs says, we are the body. So why do that? I really don't know. All I know is it crushes me. I know however that God is pleased with where my worship teams heart is at. So I guess for now I need to remain focused on worship and try to shut out the pericing silence.

Ashley Marie

Monday

Today is monday. Unlike Garfield I really do like Mondays. Not to say I like the waking up doing school part of Mondays but on Monday we have band practice. I love band. I head up a worship team in my church and we call ourselvs -JeDidiAh-. Pretty sweet, I think. Jedidiah is hebrew for "loved by God" and it is just a reminder that we are all truly and deeply loved by God. So that is why I love Mondays. Did you know that you can train yourself to be who you want and to like the things you want to? The bible says "so a man thinketh so he is" or something like that. So if you ever meet someone who says "I'm dumb" don't argue, if he thinks that, I mean truly thinks that then he is. Not becuase he has less brain or ability but because he has trained himself to be so. Just a thought.

Ashley Marie

what if....

What would happen in this world, with people and to our hearts and souls if we all truly loved? Ever wondered that? I get inspired a lot by music, books and people. Not to say those are my only inperations but they do have a lot to do with it, anyway. I really enjoy the band Casting Crowns and they address such things as these. I recently heard of this band called, The Fray and heard their how to save a life song. It really makes me wonder, how would things be different if we really did love, really did care and really did pray. Our world would really be different. What if we had all night church services downtown and bars closed at noon? Think about it.

Ashley Marie

peace be still

If I had a dime for every time this blog thing out smarted me I would be rich.... well ok, I'd have four dimes. But I am so proud of myself for figuring this out. For the general public this may seem to be a small task but as for me this is a giant leap for me. At last I have figured it out! Congradulations to me. Ah yes. Quote of the day "what was it the preacher say?... peace be still!" "Ah, peace is always still around me cause I keeps me what they call a peice of steel. I say load your steel, thank you Jesus." Funny. I think.... yes? no? Let me know.

Ashley Marie

the point

Pickled eggs, broken hearts and pink. I have a distaste for all of the above. There has got to be a point to them though. What I am saying in kind of around about way is this; God does nothing for nothing. With God there is always a purpose, a plan but sometimes it is hidden in the details of life that we often overlook. The point is, there has always got to be a point...

Ashley Marie