Westmount Evangelical Church... after the fire

This is my church, after someone tourched it. This very sad tragity occured 4.5 years ago. You'd think by now we'd have a brand new place with a paved parking lot and comercial sized dishwasher. No. We have nothing. Though we are looking into yet another possible purches we are still far away from having a perminent church. It is hard. I feel like we are God's people out in the dessert for fourty years. The good part, after the fourty years God blessed His people with a land flowing with milk and honey, the promised land. He will take care of us. Just for now this is what we have to look back on and wish we could take back all our complaints we had about this dear, old building.

Ashley Marie

phone calls

I once knew what it was like to have someone call you everyday, without exception. I know down to the minute when my phone would ring and who it would be. Adjusting out of that has been hard. I still have Jesus though, I know I always will but one still gets used to life lived a certain way. It was easy to get used to the phone calls I once got. They gave me a sence of belonging more so than others things have. I know that I belong in the family of God and in Him am I to find my value and so that will never change. But still, I am human flesh. How do I now go back to the way my life was before the phone calls? Before the calls I never knew that there could be calls, I never knew that someone calling me everyday just becuase they cared that much about that much. It is hard to lose that, even though it seems so... trivial

Ashley Marie

a tribute

My Mom, Melissa and me. My Mom, is my hero. If I could be anyone else on earth I'd be her. She is amazing and I want to be just like her when I grow up. Melissa, has the most beautiful heart ever and is gorgeous inside and out. I love both of them to death. I never want to live my life without both of them by my side.

Ashley Marie

sore bum.... but it's worth it

Today my bum is soar. I have been sitting all day! Reading for my psy. class mostly. I've been having a hard time focusing in the last half hour cause my bum has been throbing. I guess I could try sitting more properly... I was sitting on my couch with the middle cusin removed so my head and feet were elevated leaving my bum on the unpadded springs. I did get a lot done though. Even still it was worth it soar butt and all. I'm really enjoying this distance learning class. It's been fun to see that I can actually get good grades on a college level! Currently my average is sitting at 92%. Not too shaby I say. I can't wait to put what I've been learning into use. Like in youth min. Oh man, am I ever excited and blessed to have become a part of the leadership in my youth group. So excited. All this and I still have to graduate high school. That'll happen on June 15, 2007 at 7:30PM. That is a day I have been awaiting all my life. So glad it is so near, yet so far away. It will come though, I trust it will. My dress is a dark chocolate brown and I have a butterfly theme going on. It should be great. Anyway. Thought for the day "you have nothing to fear, you are deeply and truly loved."

Ashley Marie

youth....

I discovered a while ago (like 5 years) that I love youth. Not the going to youth aspect, though I do still enjoy that. I love getting to know kids, and lovin' on 'em like Jesus and seeing the "left out" ones and bringing them back into the group and helping them find their groove, who they are. This is what I want to do with my life. I want to be involved in youth ministry. I want to help them realize that they are valuable and loved beyond messsure, no matter what their peers or even parents say. I want kids to be able to live the life Jesus wants them to live. I love watching as youth turn into young adults. What is the difference? People who can believe in themselfs and also in the God who made them... and there are so many differeneces. This week my youth pastor has given me a chance to take another step into this ministry by allowing me to be a Jr youth leader. I will do all I can, I cannot promise not to screw up but I will make those mishaps just more opportunity to learn how to live better and love better. I am excited.

P.S I dunno why I put a picture of my dog and I for the "youth" bit... strange. But anywho this is Mistee. I love her.

Ashley Marie

Timmy's girls

I work at Tim Hortons. Amber (left) still works there with me and so does Melissa (right of me) but Leesa (far right) no longer does, but at one point we all worked there at the same time.

Ashley Marie

Praying for my technoligy

So today is Monday again, yes! I love Mondays. On Saturday I dropped my cammera in a little bit of water and am really upset about that. I am leaving out sitting open for three days (til tuesday) and praying that it will be fine. I dunno if God is really all that concerned with my camera but He says "cast all your anxiety on Him" so that is what I am doing. Next saturday I am probably gonna go to this sound info thing at the Living Hope Church. I might learn something. I hope so. So yeah, that is all for now I guess...
PS try to go out of your way to do something great for someone else today, and everyday you breathe. This will be worship... as long as done as unto HIM.

Ashley Marie

Encouraged

So yeah I forgot to mention this bit of greatness earlier. Today there was a guy who got baptised in my church. He said his testimony and it really encouraged me because he talked about how the conteparary worship in our church was huge into bringing him back to God. That means music like what -JeDidiAh- plays helped this man find his way back to God. This was the encouragment I needed to recover from that little episode with the old couple I have mentioned perviously. God is good, all the time. All the time, God is good. He sure knows when to send a message and just how to do it. I nearly cried. I had the tears but they never left the safty of my eyes so that doesn't count as crying but nearly. So that is my encouraged. So remeber kids, God made you special and He loves you very much.


Ashley Marie

Thy Will Be Done

Well today was good, great actually. I went to church and I really put myself into the worship. Not that everything was done the way I would have done it or to my exact taste or that I knew or liked all the songs, like I said I put myself, my heart into it. That is how to experience real worship. Not saying I am perfect at it or anything but I am working on it. When you can make yourself get past that you dislike about the music and get real about the worship it can be truly amazing.
Today I've also been thinking a great deal about -JeDidiAh- as far as should I stay or should I go? I mean I love it, like absolutely LOVE it. Every part of it. But I don't know if God wants me to give that up for my first year at Bethany. I mean not to say I think He doesn't approve of it, just maybe that.... He can see a part of the picture I might miss out on if I don't totally dedicate this next year to the full Bethany experience. I pray "thy will be done". It is still hard not knowing though. I know I would miss it a great deal but I don't know what I will be missing if I do stay. For now all I really can do is pray... "Thy will be done".

Ashley Marie

Computer Issues

Today I was having computer issues, again! I hate it when I have computer issues. I mean it would be one thing to have computer issues and know exactly how to solve them but for me that is not the case and so I get very frusterated and annoied. So I think I should end this entry before I get too carried away. Maybe I will come back later and and have something more ... insightfull to say.

Ashley Marie

ME!

So this me in case you were wondering.

Ashley Marie

silence speaks volumes

So a lot of people say that actions speaks louder that words, often times I would agree that, that is true. Silence however breaks all volume barriers, I think. For instance, I mentioned earlier that I lead a worship team and it is my pride and joy. There is one thing that makes it hard. My church is very reserved, not by religion just by nature. We are mennonites, it just happends that way. Older folks tend to be more so than my generation and my parents generation. You see they think that worship is only worship if it is a piano and a song leader. So when there is a full band, like -JeDidiAh- they don't sing. They have never and probably will never say a thing about it to my face, but thier silence speaks volumes more than any conversation would. This crushes me. Absolutely crushes me. People tell me "Ash, shrug 'em off. You are doing what you are called to do. Don't allow them to destroy that, don't give them that power. " That is hard. Their silence is so loud when we lead worship sometimes I can't even hear the music. The thing is, music is not nessisarily worship and worship is not necissarily music. It is where you heart is. You can be tapping your toes along with the beat a raising your hands and not be worshiping. It isn't about what you do on the outside. Not to say that EVERYONE needs to sing a participate in worship in that way. But there is a differnce between worshipping in your own way and not participating to make a statement. Like the casting crowns songs says, we are the body. So why do that? I really don't know. All I know is it crushes me. I know however that God is pleased with where my worship teams heart is at. So I guess for now I need to remain focused on worship and try to shut out the pericing silence.

Ashley Marie

Monday

Today is monday. Unlike Garfield I really do like Mondays. Not to say I like the waking up doing school part of Mondays but on Monday we have band practice. I love band. I head up a worship team in my church and we call ourselvs -JeDidiAh-. Pretty sweet, I think. Jedidiah is hebrew for "loved by God" and it is just a reminder that we are all truly and deeply loved by God. So that is why I love Mondays. Did you know that you can train yourself to be who you want and to like the things you want to? The bible says "so a man thinketh so he is" or something like that. So if you ever meet someone who says "I'm dumb" don't argue, if he thinks that, I mean truly thinks that then he is. Not becuase he has less brain or ability but because he has trained himself to be so. Just a thought.

Ashley Marie

what if....

What would happen in this world, with people and to our hearts and souls if we all truly loved? Ever wondered that? I get inspired a lot by music, books and people. Not to say those are my only inperations but they do have a lot to do with it, anyway. I really enjoy the band Casting Crowns and they address such things as these. I recently heard of this band called, The Fray and heard their how to save a life song. It really makes me wonder, how would things be different if we really did love, really did care and really did pray. Our world would really be different. What if we had all night church services downtown and bars closed at noon? Think about it.

Ashley Marie

peace be still

If I had a dime for every time this blog thing out smarted me I would be rich.... well ok, I'd have four dimes. But I am so proud of myself for figuring this out. For the general public this may seem to be a small task but as for me this is a giant leap for me. At last I have figured it out! Congradulations to me. Ah yes. Quote of the day "what was it the preacher say?... peace be still!" "Ah, peace is always still around me cause I keeps me what they call a peice of steel. I say load your steel, thank you Jesus." Funny. I think.... yes? no? Let me know.

Ashley Marie

the point

Pickled eggs, broken hearts and pink. I have a distaste for all of the above. There has got to be a point to them though. What I am saying in kind of around about way is this; God does nothing for nothing. With God there is always a purpose, a plan but sometimes it is hidden in the details of life that we often overlook. The point is, there has always got to be a point...

Ashley Marie